If you know me in real life (which is approximately four of you, who also share my genetic material) then you know I love holidays. Arbor Day, Chrismukkah, Grandparent’s Day: it doesn’t matter. If it’s on the calendar, then I’m celebrating. You can imagine what it takes for a holiday to be one of my favorites, and Halloween cracks my top three. Endorsed over consumption of sugar, hilarious costumes, and limitless pun opportunities combine to create the perfect holiday. If you’ve procrastinated on making a costume, fear not! WTB is here to save you with some festive costumes.
Hearken back to your amateur wine days–or your current wine days, no judgment here. You can choose cutesy and use plastic tarp and a glue gun to create the bag skirt, or simply don an oversized box with the eternally classy Franzia logo.
If you’re feeling a little classier than boxed wine, upgrade to a wine bottle! You can keep it simple and dress in monochromatic wine colors, then print a label to stick on your shirt. It’s also obviously necessary to bring the bottle you’re wearing, and then drink said bottle. Completely necessary.
Official-Looking French Person
For the truly lazy among us, grab a striped shirt and a faux mustache. Add a baguette and a condescending speech about how the only real champagne is produced in the Champagne region, and you’re set.
My best friend’s absolute favorite childhood memory is her mother, dressed as a grape, trying to cram into the car without popping any balloons. I’m begging someone out there to do this.
Hopefully some of these sparked your creative energies, or resigned you to being a cat/ninja yet again. Stay safe this weekend and enjoy your Halloween bliss!
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